everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
