Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
