hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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