it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
