You're so nebulous sometimes
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
