I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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