Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Found the puke drawer
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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