you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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