I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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