Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
