it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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