I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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