making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
