508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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