i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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