Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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