before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
