he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
