His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
