I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
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