I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
