I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
