i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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