just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
