2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Pants are for mortals
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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