I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
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I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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