Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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