no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
