I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
