my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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