girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is wine microwaveable?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
