I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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