no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
