who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
