FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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