My friends, they love my intelligence
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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