i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize