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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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