The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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