gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
