kristin has been a bad kristin
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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