batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize