She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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