Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
