and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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