i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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