1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
