Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize