Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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