let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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