I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
