I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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