So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
