New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
