do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
