he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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