i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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