I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
