It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
