when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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