Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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