So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
