Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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