I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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