I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
