i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
