Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
